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You
think that burning the US Flag is acceptable, because it's
just a swatch of cloth and doesn't mean anything, but that
flying the Confederate Stars & Bars is unacceptable, because
it's a symbol of HATRED. |
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You
believe that government should make a special effort to hire
members of traditionally oppressed groups, such as
African-Americans (except for Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell
and Condoleezza Rice). |
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You
think that protesting outside of a US Marine recruiting office
in the Peoples Republic of Berkeley is protected by your 1st
Amendment rights, and think that protesting outside an
abortion clinic is not. |
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If
you believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools
will hurt the children, but putting "Heather Has Two Mommies"
or "Ask Alice" (on the internet) won't. |
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You
think marriage is obsolete - except for homosexuals.
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You
feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress. |
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You
live in constant fear that someone, somewhere, is making a
profit. |
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You
believe that if you reward stupidity, you get less of it.
|
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You
believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public
view, but that anyone objecting to pornography “only has to
look the other way.” |
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You
are worried about how the French view Americans. |
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You
have no problem with Hollywood movie stars flying around in
private jets to give speeches on the evils of SUVs |
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You
give money to the homeless man on the corner of the freeway,
but you turn up your nose every time you see a boy scout."
|
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You
think that pornography corrupts women, but find nothing wrong
with a 50 year old president seducing a 21 year old intern.
|
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You
cry every May 4th over the four people killed at Kent State,
but have never been to the Vietnam Memorial. |
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You
say shows like "Andy Griffith " are out of touch with America
today, while you flip to your soap opera. |
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You
tout the NAACP, but criticize anyone referring to a black man
as a "colored person." |
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You
think a mother has a right to kill an innocent 5 month fetus
because her pregnancy would interfere with her career, but
feel we shouldn't put to death the man who raped and murdered
14 women. |
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You
feel that being convicted of treason is an infringement on
your first amendment rights. |
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You
honestly feel that alcoholics deserve social security
disability benefits. |
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You
outwardly said "I would have voted for Elizabeth Dole" knowing
darn well you wouldn't have because she is a Republican.
|
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You
think it is ok for a President to commit perjury on his sex
life, but criticize Dan Quayle for spelling potato/potatoe
wrong. |
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You
stood on a soapbox demanding that Anita Hill be heard, but
want Paula Jones' accusations to be swept under the rug.
|
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You
think the guy who drops out of High School and builds your
jeep deserves more money than the doctor who went to college
for 10 years and saves your kids life. |
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You
think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school
day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on
parental authority, while sex education, condom distribution
and multiculturalism are values. |
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You
sang along to "Give Peace a Chance" during the Gulf War.
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You've filed for unemployment within two weeks of getting out
of high school. |
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You
went to Woodstock II and felt that it was a significant
historical event, changing the way our country thinks.
|
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You
own something that says, "Dukakis for President," and still
display it. |
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You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well,
they're gonna do it anyway so..." |
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You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
|
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You
believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career,
but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred
tree. |
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You
ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a
tax hike because..." |
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You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare
that person will turn it around and get off drugs. |
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You
think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator. |
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You
keep count of how many people you know in each racial or
ethnic category. |
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You
believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe
does. |
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After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is
undertaxed." |